A deadly mistake people can make when searching out a foreign spouse is the fact that they tend to trust way too easily. It’s normal for us, but surely it is something we have to change while in our search. It’s not easy changing the way your mind functions on a daily basis but it has to be done. The absolute best way to do this so that you don’t end up getting caught in a bad situation is with consulting. Consulting is not for the purpose of finding the actual girl, that’s the easy part. When it starts to get tough is when the communication starts to get deeper between you and the foreign other.
It’s real easy to get caught up in a trap. They say everything you like to hear, they just seem perfect in every way. You feel excited, you feel that she is the sweetest thing ever, she is the angel that has been dropped down for you. You even wonder why it took so long to find such a perfect match. The reality is they are not the perfect match and cannot be, a relationship like this will take some work to figure out and hopefully make it and be able to manage together. The problem is that we get so excited that we lose clear thought process and end up in the suck. I couldn’t even begin to count all the Colombian girls I spoke to that had all the right things to say. I have to say that with just a touch of chemistry, some of them are very convincing. The difference is learning this becomes a super difficult and a super important factor.
Our culture normally teaches us to listen to this kind of thing. We do and we start to fall for certain things that are really just a facade. Remember that in the recent weeks or months she has spoken to several or several dozen other gringos and learned exactly what it was they liked and how to say the right things. I can tell you, you don’t want to get a big surprise later on when it’s too late. You start thinking this isn’t what she said when we started talking, but at this point your mind is cluttered and you really don’t remember, or you confront her and she quickly covers herself by saying no she didn’t mean it that way. One of the motivations may be locking in that marriage quickly. They can also be experts in really hearing what you are saying and know how to answer those questions almost perfectly. This type of thing is especially true with a super ambitious foreign girl. When dealing with a simple girl, she is happy no matter where she is or what she has and an issue like this most likely will not be a problem.
Always remember, the cultures are different, not similar at all. Very much different and it takes many years of being inside the other culture to really truly learn it.
Be careful when in the communication process. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Don’t become desperate and over taken by her perfect words. Stay strong and intelligent, do not confront them, they will always have the perfect answer. Instead try and figure out how to get the answer through other questions or similarities.