I get a call from my good friend yesterday afternoon and everything has been going awesome for him and his new wife from the Dominican Republic. I have to say I am glad for him and after seeing and being with him while trying to find a wife over the years, he really deserves it.
Recapping the years of searching
He spent at least 4 to 5 years searching in Colombia both Bogota and Medellin. He dated countless amounts of somewhat desirable women in both Bogota and Medellin. he did everything right maximizing each and every trip. Planning for the worst as far as realizing that the percentage of flakes would be high and cancelations would follow. He was always ready and if he wasn’t I had his back. I was there at the time and whenever he ran flat of dates, my girlfriend or other lady friends of mine would seem to set him up essentially making every lunch and dinner filled.
As a local businessman he understood that each trip was short ranging from 4 days to 10 days. So the planning was essential as each day was a costly one in the wife finding endeavor.
You ask: but why do you need so many dates? To make this short, if you decide to start a search for a wife in Colombia, you will find out very quickly that aside from easy dating, it is very hard for someone smart to know that most of the girls they date are not wife material. Not that they are bad in any sense of the word, but the fact that the culture is so different from ours, the customs are so different from ours, and if you are smart you look beyond the getting laid factors and start looking at the future in a home.
You look at compatibility, you look at social differences (stay away from those that have ants in their ass) social butterflies that need to be out constantly, you look at abrasiveness, you look at what is really compatible for you and what you are, you look at parents fighting. If you are an entrepreneur will she leave you alone and allow you to flourish monetarily without stress. Well I don’t want to make the post about that as there are at least 10 other posts that discuss compatibility.
He dated at least 60 women that were chosen from the top of the list. He knew exactly what he wanted and thought about the future. He was somewhat on the picky side with looks as he felt since he took care of himself why should he find a girl that did not, or ate fried empanadas everyday that may eventually have an effect on her physical looks. He looked at both parents to see a future genetic possibility. Also it was important for him as a conservative to find someone with both parents in tact. Not some chick that bangs 40 gringos a year or has several American friends “online” that she chats with or even a handful of amiguitos she chills out with.
The long dating battle of finding a good wife
It was a long 5 or 6 years of travel and it seemed as soon as one decent came around something came up that killed the deal. Something that made him realize there was no way in hell he would offer a marriage to. Don’t get me wrong, allot of the dating was still fun and to this day he still remembers some of the awesome double dates we went on with absolute foxes. Some of the amazing dinners and concerts we hit with chicks that could pose in Playboy easily. No they weren’t GFE’s in fact we scratched them off the list immediately as those were just a pure waste of time despite the sessions that might have came about later in the evening. When you factor the cost per day traveling to Colombia, you are a fool to bang GFE’s in place of a real search.
He realized that Colombia wasn’t working for him any more. In fact when we spoke last night, he said the Medellin thing was ending 5 years ago, that he could just imagine how polluted it is now. How it is so far from a secret that it becomes crazy to even give a city like that a try for a wife anymore.
What killed it was the write ups from many blogs, the reviews, the adult cam sites showcasing the bodies in the nude and happy attitudes., the dating sites and so on. It became so badly filled with foreigners actually moving there it wasn’t long before it ended.
The housing market is going nuts, friends and people are making hundreds of thousands for the last year or two. You finally decided to jump in on the bandwagon and you buy your first house. Problem is you bought it at a huge premium and shortly after the market crashed. Too late. Sounds familiar so those seeking foreign brides should beware as this place is laced with thousands just like you.
He gets the new foreign bride home and his friends tell him how lucky he is
No not the bullshit of the wife being problematic, the bullshit of the so called friends, neighbors and coworkers. One of these guys tells him how lucky he was and he says there is no way you can call this luck. He broke his ass searching for the right girl for 6 solid years. He dated all kinds of flakes, semi decent but not marriage material girls, he spent thousands upon thousands of dollars traveling back and fourth 40 times. He spent countless hours chatting with girls online and joining several dating sites. He cuts no corners at all.
Was this luck or was this a well played out, organized, hard working find? I would never call that luck. It’s people telling me I am lucky to be self employed and I think while they were vacationing or spending weekends home. How I was working 20 hour days and nights to build my companies, how I was relentless in figuring out how to be creative enough to compete while building from scratch. I knew about the American dream and needed, not wanted but needed to live it. Was it luck? Fuck no. My hats off to all those American entrepreneurs that started from nothing. I know what’s involved, I know that things don’t suddenly appear. I know that 9 out of 10 times, it was blood, sweat and tears. The words greatest and best entrepreneurs are American and started in America. It’s who we are, we don’t wait for luck, we strive for the best.
There is little difference in finding a wife. Some of us don’t settle, especially those of us that utilize the world to find the right foreign wife. We make it happen, we are hopefully not compulsive and find long lasting life mates.
The disrespect begins on a daily basis
We knew before he got home that surely strangers would be upset that his wife is 19 years his junior but he really didn’t care much about that. You learn to realize that this type of thing is inevitable and you just smile or learn to ignore it.
What he didn’t expect was the disrespect from his neighbors, certain coworkers and even friends. So he is walking home a few days with his wife on his days he is not working and his neighbor comes over and says to the wife right in front of him. “Hey did anybody ever tell you you have beautiful eyes?” My buddy laughs and he is thinking what a total dick. Who does that? What does this guy think that he will be able to steal his wife away while he is not home. He tells me, what’s wrong with these people, they honestly think after his hard 6 years work that they can say a few things and steal the wife.
The next thing is he goes out with his friend and his wife for a few beers and his friend starts to give hugs to the wife, not one, not two but starts throwing hugs her way for stupid shit. He wasn’t pissed but he thought man what the hell is wrong with these people.
Now a days you see so much more disrespect coming out of New York. He is walking down the parking lot and some guy yells over “hey” he looks over and says what and the guy says no not you her. He says its a package deal pal.
What’ s happening with our society today? Is there any respect left at all, if so tell me where it is? These lazy bastards think they are going to steal wives? Funny.
Luckily for him, he has got a great wife that is absolutely non abrasive and he is extremely happy. On the other hand it has been a while since he has had a women at his side in the New York area and it appears respect has left the building.