What seems like only a few months ago was really a few years ago since I found out my at the time girlfriend was a prostitute. I see allot of guys currently both young in the 20s to the 50s that have prostitutes for girlfriends and they either do not have a clue or they know it inside but choose to live in denial. Since Colombia has gotten more popular amongst foreign men in the last several years, so has the fact that most guys that actively have girlfriends in Colombia do not realize that she very well could be a prostitute. Sometimes these slightly younger men in their 20’s think that it is only the older men that are getting stuck with the prostitutes. Or perhaps it is the guy with money that is the one getting defrauded. To think this way is false and surely those who think that way are also victims of having prostitutes for girlfriends.
Sometimes while browsing Colombian news sites or blogs, I run into comments that crack me up. Sometimes you will see a guy commenting how bad some American men are and how they ruin the reputation of Medellin. In most cases the guy that makes that comment usually has a Colombian girlfriend and knows little about the country aside from the few months he has visited. He is in love so he will defend the culture from top to bottom. It is the Americans that ruined it. It is the Americans that cause the prostitution and all the skanks and fraudsters to be lounging around the tourist areas. Yes in deed, it is Americans for sure that have caused this outrage of my beautiful perfect angels city. You always have those that try to be so diplomatic about it and get so protective. They will learn sooner or later, most do and unfortunately they learn the hard way. It is just like the guys that think because they are 20’s, workout that it really makes a difference if you fall for a prostitute or not. That that fact makes them immune to meeting gold diggers. Not the case at all, in Colombia nobody is immune. The only thing that helps is experience with the culture long term. Learn the ways of thought, the ways of living. Not living in some back packing hostel with a bunch of other gringos but actually spending real time in the barrios. I know your thinking that the fact that you are broke anyways, nothing to steal. Wrong again, any foreigner is looked as a dollar bill, rich, poor, young, old, Spanish speaking or not. This will never change, the only thing that can change is the education you develop that saves you in the future if you ever plan on getting serious with a Colombian woman.
As for me why did it take me so long to figure it out?
I was in my 20’s so I was very uneducated as to the thought process and culture in Colombia. She was one of my first girlfriends of many in both Bogota and Medellin. I never asked important questions that I should have, especially that we did a fiance visa together(later cancelled). I fell for the crap that her home phone wasn’t the best source to use, could I please use her cell phone. Despite the fact that I had previously dated many beautiful American girls, I was baffled by the intense beauty of this girl. We got along so well and she always stayed with me when I was in Colombia. She never accepted money from me when I offered to buy something. She made it a habit to always go to Church, sometimes during the week as well. We just got along so good that I really was blinded to the facts that turned into a waste of time and money.
To read the original story go here.
Sounds like there were not really too many Red Flags. Maybe you just had bad luck she was aprostitute.
I agree, in this particular case there was not allot of red flags. Some are tough to figure out and some are the last people you would think were prostituting. Very simple, down to earth, no kids and so on. Then you have these guys that are dating these studio f wearing, fake everything, kid at home and think she is an angel.
Um.. seems as if you ended this in mid thought?? if not.. I do have a few questions because I have considered living amongst the locals. Ive come across sites where the price per month are reasonable($350-500).. not the $1000 a month like in the gringo zones. Some where studios or full apts..there were also rooms for rent.. so on.
Being that my spanish would still be beginner to intermediate, Should i look for roommates or any other quick advice? I would stay near the university in a hotel or something for the first few weeks or month maybe. But the overall goal is to get some social circles via the university or what not. Do you have any posts related to living in the barrios?
and what happen with this girl?? How did you find out?
Thanks in advance..
Hi Jay- You are right. I got sidetracked and still posted the post, it happens. However I added the link to the original story below. I finally found out after I couldnt get her on the home phone for 2 weekends in a row. She admitted it and promised to change upon US arrival.
Yes to both of those. I usually got roommates and I never paid more then $250.00- 300.00 per month for a rental and nice. I rented a really nice place in Pereira for 250.00 with many bedrooms, ceramic throughout. Laureles campestre was around $300.00 for a 7th floor apartment with 3 bedrooms in Laureles.
Thanks again.. and believe you me.. I will do my best to keep my standards and limits when dealing with the women there.. I hope it isnt easier said than done. I was reminded again today how some women are, talking with a friend girl.. On one hand she loves her boy friend.. on the other she disrespects him as a man and loves the attention from other men.. Her words sound nice but her actions speak louder. But what he doesnt know doesnt hurt him is her stance. It is hard to say how good of a woman she is if she knows he would not like what she does.. (without going into details)..
I do plan on using your posts as a guide as ive said before. It does not mean things will go perfect but I can at least understand through your expirences. It is a different world with different rules.
Lastly, would Pereira be a better choice? I still have a few months before I make a choice and It is mainly based on being able to study spanish at some university and the over all feel of the city. And of course being able to meet real women vs the others..
Oh and your friend. What a shame. I am watching this country just fall apart little by little. I think people are getting de-sensitized to the surroundings. I notice new things everyday that are baffeling, like attitudes towards life. People do not argue anymore for their rights, they just simply say ok. Family values are virtually disappearing. Something like 50% of children being born are to mothers out of wedlock and this is growing as the Hispanic population increases. I cannot blame the American girl for the way she is, it is how many are turning up today and it’s sad. I am reluctant to have children now in this country, I will but I really am reluctant only because I would hate to raise children with family values and those values get overpowered by tv, schools and friends with zero values. Oh and by the way, this trend is growing heavily through South America now. Brazil has gone total feminist, trying to censor the internet and completely following typical left suit.
What is happening to her boyfriend can happen to any of us. I believe that the truth will prevail and he will find out sooner or later.
All you can do is your best. Each girl has a different deal but at least the most obvious ones you will spot from reading this blog and also go by gut.
Pereira for me is absolutely the better choice, however it would not be if I was new at Colombia. There are no gringos in Pereira at all. Perhaps 1 or 2 on a real off day. Depending on what you are looking for, I recommend a bigger city to start and go from there. Take a look at a Pereira newspaper daily for a few weeks and you will see why I do not recommend it, plus I think for you there is a better choice of Universities to learn Spanish in Medellin or Bogota.
I have a friend that is going to a new small city in Boyaca this week, he will write about it for sure, but probably on the next trip.