When I was 7, I believed I was going to be famous.
When I was 16, I believed I was going to go away to college, at least a plane-ride away from my parents.
When I was 22, I believed I was in love.
When I was 33, I believed I could do, have, and buy anything I wanted because we were debt free.
With all of these failed dreams, is it any wonder that it can be so hard to believe?
As I reflect on the past, there is a common thread: ME.
I wanted to be famous. I wanted to go away to college. I wanted to be in love. I wanted to do, have, and buy anything once we were debt free.
So, why, if I believed so fiercely in those things, did they not happen the way I wanted them to? It’s not because I’m not good enough, smart enough, loveable enough, or capable enough. It’s not because I am unworthy or uninspired.
I was believing in the wrong things.
I’m a really good planner. I love a good schedule and routine. I live and breathe by my calendar app and my paper planner. I can tell you, on most days, what I’ll be having for dinner every night for the next 15 days. I can look at my needs, my children’s needs, and my husbands needs and create a Master Schedule so that we all get what we desire.
Naturally, I should be able to plan my life, believe it can happen, and it should be so, right?
There is a difference in believing in God, and trusting in God.
I wasn’t trusting that He would know exactly what I needed. I wasn’t trusting that He knew what I needed to learn, who I needed to meet, when I needed to be humbled, and when I needed to be confident.
My Focus Word for 2015 is “CONSISTENCY”. One of the things I would like to be more consistent about is going to church. In the past few months, our attendance has sadly tapered off, and I can feel the absence in my core.
I am believing in 2015, for God to help me be consistent. When I am feeling weary, I am believing that God will know the appropriate way to reinvigorate me and give me rest.
I am believing in God to open doors of generosity in my life, though I don’t know if it is on the giving or receiving end. I will believe that God will make that known to me at the right time.
I am believing in God-sanctioned growth for my new organizing business. I will believe that He equipped me with the tools to help people be more at peace in their homes, and with their belongings. I am believing that He will always give me the right words to support my clients while challenging them at the same time.
I am believing in big things this year, and believing that God’s plans are always bigger and better than my plans.
I am believing that God has this blog in His hand, giving me a voice, a desire to be authentic, and a platform for His direction to be heard.
I am believing right along with you, my lovely readers, for what your heart’s prayer is.