1. Carly Rae Jepsen’s “I Really Like You,” the greatest song of our generation, and possibly all generations, the song that will ring in my eardrums long after I’ve died and my ears have decayed and my body fully disintegrates into the earth. And, of course, Carly Rae herself, for making music that is so shamelessly pop-y and gushy and cheesy and irresistible and good, no matter what you believe or think you believe.
2. Watching 13 straight hours of House of Cards and emerging in a state of Claire Underwood-induced hysteria. (Claire, for the record, is the only important character on that show, matched only, perhaps, by Cashew the guinea pig.)
3. Hot guys posing with their cats on Instagram.
4. Eating ice cream to spite winter.
5. Each and every one of Zac Efron’s beautiful body hairs.
6. Burrito bowls.
7. Re-runs of The Office, especially every episode wherein Phyllis declares her proficiency in erotic cake consumption. (For the record, I am unabashedly Phyllis.)
9. Eating cereal for every meal (even though I said I was gonna give up cereal in 2015, but that was before I remembered that cereal is delicious and I would rather be doused in whiskey and set on fire than spend a single day without putting a spoon brimming with Cinnamon Toast Crunch on my tongue.)
10. And, finally, hot Italian men, the epitome of male beauty and pasta ingestion.