10 Things To Be Happy About This Week

1. Getting high on cold medicine.

2. Breakfast sandwiches.

3. Trapping hot guys on airplanes and breathing their recycled air and accidentally spilling a hot coffee on their lap and apologizing while you rub them with towels and cry.

4. Barbecue ribs. Barbecue chicken. Barbecue pulled pork. Barbecue every meat.

5. Pooping in hotel bathrooms

6. The bartender at this one place I was at who gave me a bunch of wine for free and we just winked at one another, it was great.

7. Pants that aren’t skinny jeans and open up to allow a normal human to climb inside it.

8. Screaming song lyrics at people while drunk, preferably show tunes, but Beyoncé suffices when show tunes prove too difficult to muster.

9. Tea that’s actually just 75% honey.

10. Ordering pizza after midnight when the pizza people decide to make it taste better.